Thursday, August 21, 2008

Do You Remember U68?

This was the greatest channel ever.  It was a Music Video Channel on UHF television.   I remember staying up late to watch the Metal Power Hour and then the channel would go off the air.  They even played the national anthem when they went off the air.

It was an independent station (sort of) that would eventually be bought, sold, changed, etc...   It was a very sad day when it became a Home Shopping Channel.   I remember me and neighborhood friend Darren Weins used to call our local cable company and just say "put U68 back on !!" and hang up .   It was our version of "I want my MTV".  (BTW U68 played much better videos).   Meanwhile, it turned out the actual station WWHT became Home Shopping so it had nothing to do with the cable company.  Enjoy this classic U68 Promo

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Let's Get Back to the Real Bigfoot

At Hometown Tales, we often discuss Bigfoot.   The legend of Sasquatch is a staple of any urban legend and folklore discussion.   Of course, Bigfoot is getting headline news again (as he does every 3-6 months) because of the supposed body that has been found in Georgia.   BTW, its a fake,  the guys who found it pull this tall heap of malarky every couple of years.  Don't get me wrong I'd love to be wrong but it's probably a bunch of donkeychips.

So all this hype over Bigfoot got me thinking back to the good ole' days in the 70s when Bigfoot was even hotter.   Everybody was talking Bigfoot then.  And long before he was a Pizza and a Monster Truck he was a character on the Six Million Dollar Man (which by itself was the greatest TV show with the greatest TV theme music ever).   Too make it better they added a "bigfoot" character.   To make it even "more better", Bigfoot was played by Andre the Giant at first.   Unfortunately it didn't ever get to "most better" because Bigfoot ended up being a robot and I think he even started to talk later in the series.   However, the first appearance on the SMDM was truly classic.   Perhaps if Fonzie encountered Bigfoot instead of jumping a tank filled with sharks we'd still be watching Happy Days.

Enjoy this classic trip down TV lane.   (Just ignore the crappy "" super on the video, -don't you hate it when people do that?  Are we supposed to credit this masterpiece of TV theater to some dumb kid who registered the URL ""?)

How Embarrassing

In full disclosure,  I am not a fan of the Today Show.   I am a GMA guy.   I just can't connect to any of the Today Show cast and I don't like the way the studio is set up.   However, I have been watching it recently because I've been really into the Olympics and obviously NBC has more of the athletes and stories from Bejing than the other morning shows..

So I'm not really a big fan of Matt Lauer or Al Roker but what I saw this morning was just ridiculous.   They had a segment of Al and Matt performing Rhythmic Gymnastics.   It was so bad and I was so embarrassed for them.  They have just destroyed all cred.  Matt Lauer should never ben in sweat pants and Al Roker should never be in a onezie (sp?). Take a look for yourself

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Movies to Watch Down the Shore

I love "Top 10 Lists". And I love to make my own top 10 lists of things I like. But, truth is I don't always have ten and I also have trouble putting them in a favorite order. That being said,  no other "title" really works. "Gene's Top _______ list" is lame. "Top 5 or 6" is even lamer so here is my Top 10 Movies to Watch Down the Shore, except it's not 10 but it is in order. And I do love going to the shore in the summer.


Ok, it's not great but good beach scenes.


Dudley Moore, Bo Derek. Isn't this a natural choice? I don't know why except I remember Dudley Moore falling down a cliff onto the beach and of course the famous Bo Derek running scene. This just evokes summer to me. Probably because I saw it while sneaking to my neighbors and they were watching it on HBO during the summer. I was definitely young and remember it was the first time where I comprehended how a girl could be "hot". I didn't think Bo Derek was pretty like some of the girls in my 2nd grade class but I understood that whatever she was, that term I would hear my older brothers say ("hot") just seemed to work.


This came out in the 80s and was so bad it was good. A horrible being beneath the sand was pulling people under and killing them. I think the tag line was something like "This summer you won't make it to the water" with an obvious reference to JAWS. Cheesy 80s Horror and It also had "Paulie" from Rocky.


This is like the Karate Kid goes surfing. Actually shouldn't The Karate Kid be on this list too? I mean they do have that beach party. Plus Macho Machio kicks the soccer ball around on the beach with Elizabeth Shue. Ok so back to North Shore, It's a classic. Kid comes to Hawaii from Arizona thinking he's a surfer and ready for the North Shore. He has a lot to learn and luckily gets an apartment or room right next to a Miyagi sort of dude, I mean a true "soul surfer". This Guru teaches him the real ways of the North Shore. Plus Nia Peebles is in the movie and how about this for a bonus- she has a song on the soundtrack too. Watchout.


see above. I convinced myself


I think this started the whole philosophy that sequels are never as good as the original. But this one was so close. I can picture some big Hollywood executives sitting in a room brainstorming how to make JAWS 2 better. Obviously the natural conclusion was to have "more shark" and more shark "killings", which they did. But I love that someone thought. "How can we make the monster scarier?, I got it , lets scatter him with gruesome burn scars" So they added the big explosion scene to give JAWS a messed up face. Now Amity Island is not only being stalked by a giant killer shark but a giant killer shark with burn trauma. Classic ! I am a huge JAWS anything fan. (I've even seen JAWS: The Revenge, aka JAWS 4, a million times) So i've decided to put a top 10 within a top 10. I know brilliant, right.


10 - There's no Hooper so there's way too much of Deputy Hendricks.

9 - Littlest Brody kid, Sean, was a little gay in JAWS 2.

8 - The scene of Shark Fin "heading towards the island" (Spielberg would have never shot that).

7 - Miss Amity, "Tina" was in way too many scenes. She saw the boat blow up, found the dead whale carcass, JAWS eats her Bo, She goes in shock. Can't someone else have some fun.

6 - Too much Chief Brody "Looking Out to the Ocean Like I'm Going to Get You JAWS" Scenes. (I think there is at least 3)

5 - JAWS eating the Helicopter might have gone too far.

4 - The helicopter pilot who got eaten looked like he was Amish.

3 - Cable Junction (WTF is Cable Junction and it looked like something from a miniature golf course.)

2 - Brody says "say Ahh" to JAWS as he shoves electrical cable into his mouth. Man that was a long cry from "smile you son of a bitch" in the first movie.

1 - Quint was killed in JAWS 1.


It's simple, the bar in the movie is the greatest fisherman's shore bar. The movie is ok but the bar gets this puppy on this list.


BobCat Goldthwait, Demi Moore, John Cusak, the guy from the Twister Sister videos and Animal House, an ugly red-headed kid and a dog with a lampshade plus it takes place on the isle of Nantucket, the epitome of being at the shore. (In Jersey we say "down the shore").

Hoops McCann (John Cusack) like Demi Moore, who's a rock singer. Except the lip syncing is so obviously not her. Hoops' arch enemy, some blond haired dude who was in a lot of those movies, has a dad that wants to destroy a house or bar and probably build condos. Actually I don't even know if I have the plot right but who cares. The movies involves an epic sailing race to save something and has a lot of really weird scenes and characters that didn't really need to be there but are brilliant. There's some cartoon montages too because Hoops is trying to get into Art School Only 1 flaw - WHY NO SEQUEL? Come on !! "Another Crazy Summer" is a natural. It would involve new characters too. My thought was a skinny bearded kid who always wears neon swimming goggles and funny shirts with sayings on them. (like "preserving my body in alcohol for science") No reason but I just think it would fit in great.


I know everything there is too know about this film. I am definitely and expert in JAWS Trivia. Who was the kid eaten on the raft? - Alex Kitner. Who's boat to they find in the see - Ben Gardner. How many people does JAWS eat? - well I have to count. While the original movie is clearly the best I can still put the other 3 on this list too. Yes, even the fourth one. They could come out with JAWS Meets Harry and the Hendersons and I would still go see it. (BTW he ate 5 people and 1 dog) The first film is one of my favorite films and a must when you are at the shore. There is nothing like swimming out in the ocean as far as you can and then starting to think about JAWS and have to high tail back to the beach.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I'll See You at the Debates Bitches

I always hated Paris Hilton.   However, I've changed.   Now, I've voting for Paris Hilton for President because of that one awesome line.   "I'll See you at the Debates Bitches".   If you are one of the 3 people on earth that have not seen her latest video.  Check it out.  It was in response to John McCain's ad comparing the Obama Celebrity Machine to Paris and Britney.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Saturday, August 2, 2008

I am Disappointed with Shark Week

In the last Hometown Tales Radio Show and Podcast, (#237) I revealed how disappointed I am in Shark Week on the Discovery Channel this year. It's a very simple observation. I remember in early college when I couldn't wait for Shark Week. It was practically 24 hours of non-stop man-eating socially irresponsible irrational-fear-mongering delight. There was a flood of shows on brutal attacks, great whites, world's most dangerous beasts and more. Ok, so it was contributing to the death of thousands of innocent fishies, but man was it good entertainment.

I suppose I can accept that the Discovery Channel's need to clean up the act a little by sandwiching the occasional Shark Kindness PSA (performed by a guilty Peter Benchley, author of JAWS) urging the public to get behind the understanding of sharks and how they weren't all out to eat us. Although I do miss thinking that every-time I went into the ocean there was a giant JAWS and his Mama about to attack me possibly in 3D.

But what's with the programming now? My God, they just take every Discovery Channel "Star" and "Sharkize" them. We see the Mythbusters ruin every awesomely stupid Shark Myth I always believed. You're telling me sharks can eat a helicopter like in JAWS 2? Thanks Debbie Downer ! They also throw big Discovery Channel celeb, the Survivorman, into the mix by unscientificially instructing us how to not be eaten by a shark. Yawn. Now, I love Mike Rowe and Dirty Jobs but come on, there is no need to make a Dirty Jobs Shark Week Edition. I have not problem having Mike Rowe do something for Shark Week but forcing his show into the mold was week. "oooohh, shark's poo too and someone has to clean it up, here's Mike Rowe. So what's next? I got it, the guys from American Chopper will jump a shark in a tank with their motorcycle. Just like Shark Week has.